One thing it took for me was to get out of the safety of my comfort zone. It's a long story but two significant things for me were that a) i read the biography of troy perry who founded the metropolitan church (a gay denomination) - i think the book is called 'don't be afraid anymore' and b) i went to a gay church to see what it was like and meet some people. and surprise surprise guess who was there? God! I had and still have theological questions and even differences maybe - that's not what i want to get into discussing - but having crossed a border and looked back things look very different to what they did before making the journey.